STAR GAZING

                                                                          LVI

Stars have always intrigued me
So I thought  I'd try
To learn the constellations -
Find my way around the sky.

I bought myself a book
Of detailed charts and maps
So that in my night sky knowledge
There'd be no black holes and gaps.

From the day I bought the book
Dark clouds veiled the skies
So I studied all the maps with care
And was able to memorise ...

All the constellations
In our Northern sky.
And when at last the clouds cleared
A star expert was I.

I drove into the countryside
Away from the city's light
And climbed a grassy little hill
On a clear and frosty nght.

There out in the open
In the heavens above my head
Were millions and billions of twinkling points
A glorious star-spangled spread.

But all my hard-gained knowledge
Was quite useless to me
For nowhere in the heavens
Was I able to see ...

The lines that my book had
The diagrams and information
That helped me to remember
Each separate constellation.

Is that star in Taurus?
Is it part of the Charioteer?
The groups all run together,
It really isn't clear.

My fingers and toes are icy,
|I'm frozen to the bone.
I'm not that keen on stars any more -
I think I'll just go home.

November 1990

GOODBYE

                                                                     LV

I've done so many farewells,
I'm an expert at saying "Goodbye"
I laugh and chatter gaily
To stop myself wanting to cry.

My first farewell was traumatic,
I left family, friends and home -
Exchanging a warm and caring young life
For a cold and indifferent unknown.

So when a Goodbye's in the offing
I pin a firm smile on  my face,
For "I love you and I'll miss you"
This isn't the time or the place.

A light and teasing banter
Helps keep spirits high;
A hug a kiss - I'll see you then,
Goodbye - my dear - goodbye.

A final smile and wave
Then you must walk away,
Like peeling a plaster off slowly,
It's more painful if you stay.

Goodbye means God be with you
And what can I say
Than "God be with you my dear one
Every single day"

I joined a writing group and this was one of the assignments.

IN THE GOOD OLD (POVERTY STRICKEN) DAYS

                                                                             LIV

When I was young and slender
High fashion I couldn't afford
So I bought my clothes from Oxfam
Before they sent them abroad.

My personal couturiers
Were all Charity shops
Who charged a pound or two for skirts
And even less for tops.

My night wear came from jumble sales
Some was almost free -
It's only worn in bed at night
So who is going to see.

My friends and I swapped clothes and hints
In those poverty stricken days.
We vied to see who could cook mince
In the most economical ways.

The years that passed were prosperous
Our nest egg, it grew bigger,
I put on weight and now alas,
I have an ample figure.

Money's no longer a problem, but
By one of life's little quirks,
My spare tyre has proved to be
The spanner in the works!

April 1988

To Velia

HOT FLUSHES vs HRT

                                                                           L111

Since I reached my fifties
Hot flushes have ruled my life,
Dictating what I can - or cannot - wear
Their influence is rife.

Polo necks are forbidden
No matter what the fashion experts say
And though I had several new ones,
I had to give them all away.

For necklines must be 'V'
Or cut low at neck and nape
So that if a hot flush should arrive
It has a route of escape.

If a flush comes on in company
The conversation fades and dies
Friends look on in amazement
As before their very eyes ...

A scarlet tide surges up
Like a flaming Severn bore
Reaching to the roots of my hair
And what is more ...

It lingers for several seconds
And by the time it fades away
|My friends have quite forgotton
What they were going to say!

But every cloud has a silver lining
And as calories equal heat
I think of every hot flush
As two chocolates I can eat.

The day's first flush coincides with
The alarm clock's ring at dawn
So getting out of bed is painless
Even on a chilly winter's morn.

|Now I am on HRT
Hot flushes are a thing of the past
No longer do they rule my life
And I am free at last.

And what about the drawbacks?
All I can say is this
Getting up each morning isn't easy any more
And it's the one thing that I miss!

To Dr. J.S.
March 1993

YOU TOO CAN LOOK A MESS FOR A FORTUNE

                                                                  LII

You too can look a mess for a fortune
Just follow what the fashion experts say,
You can make your hair look like a tatty haystack
All it takes is one week's pay.

Modern fabrics are all faded, creased and crumpled
But, that's the way they meant to look,
Garments smooth and chic are now out-dated,
Just check in any fashion book.

Modern hairstyles need a lot of time and money
And when you leave your stylist's hands,
It's as if you have been dragged through a hedge backwards
With your hair a mass of bleached and tousled strands.

Junk jewellery is all the rage just now,
The cheaper that it looks, the more the cost,
What happened to the elegance of yester year?
Will it ever surface?  Is it lost?

Designer holes and patches are in fashion -
You can look just like a drop out if you try.
All you need is lots and lots of money
And some fashion books to tell you what to buy.

MAY 1987

Parts of this verse might still apply today  (May 2011)  I have included it because it is one of my favourites.

THE PRICE OF PURITY

                                                                           LI

Whenever I see a product
Labelled "natural" and "pure"
I just know that it is
Going to cost me more.

Each ingredient left out
Puts the price in a higher band -
A sort of inverse sliding scale
That's hard to understand.

Last week I saw some ice-cream
That did not contain
Anti-oxidants or preservatives
Its freshness to retain.

It had no added colour
But when I saw the price
I wondered whether pure gold leaf
Had been added to the ice.

Alas, I cannot afford things
That are produced naturally
And have to resort to those made
In a chemical factory.

March 1995

THE M25 MOTORWAY

                                                                         L

The London Orbital Motorway
The dreaded |M25
Brings chaos and traffic jams
That drivers must survive.

But there are always silver linings
And the best by far
Is admiring Surrey's woodlands
From the comfort of your car.

Winter's bare and elegant trees
Look best with a sprinkling of snow
Though it's not as common as it was
Many decades ago.

Spring is a lovely time of year
With promises of sunny days ahead,
An explosion of leaves and blossom
Means winter is finally dead.

At last, at last Summer is here
But then it is too hot
And the M25 turns into
An extensive parking lot.

In Autumn, Surrey is bathed
In a gentle rusty glow
Unlike the strident scarlets
That some countries know.

Kestrels hover overhead
Wild flowers and animals thrive
A journey on the M25
Can be a wonderful drive.

A visit to The Devil's Punchbowl,
Hindhead, Surrey

November 1007

MIND OVER MUSCLES

                                                                    XLIX

Keep-fit clubs are starting up
All around the land
So I thought that it was time
I joined the growing band ...

Of fitness fanatics
Who pump iron every day
Exercise on treadmills
And jog their lives away.

I considered a gym club
But was scared to death
By the gleaming, muscled bodies
Scarcely out of breath.

I decided I would have to
Get fit before I could enrol
And bought some excercise machines
To help me reach my goal.

But no one every told me
How boring it would be -
And the muscles didn't beef up -
A slimmer waist I didn't see.

Then an article that I read
Solved my problems at a stroke:
"Imagining exercise works" it said -
I don't think it was a joke.

After a mental workout
And energetic exercises in my head
I was so exhausted
I spent another hour in bed.

If my muscles increase by 13%
Just waiting in a shop or traffic queue,
The longer I'm delayed the quicker
A slimmer, stronger me will be on view.

Extract from the Daily Telegraph of 22.11.2001

"Thinking about exercise can beef up biceps ...
Simply imagining exercising ...can significantly
increase muscle strength.
Those who thought about exercise showed a 13.5%
increase in strength after a few weeks."

NATURE'S VISITORS

                                                                 XLVIII

My garden is pesticide free
And nature has a free hand,
So she gathers together her outcasts
In a merry marauding band.

Slugs and snails all visit
With unfailing regularity -
They breakfast on my hostas -
Have salad for their tea.

Carrot and onion flies
Are all invited too -
The Almighty must have made them
When he'd nothing else to do.

Greenfly, blackfly, whitefly
Are all on the guest list,
They're regular attenders
No party's ever missed.

Caterpillars eat the cabbages,
But when they're butterflies,
They treat us to aerial ballets
Across our summer skies.

The evening visitors are
Mosquito, midge and mite
Who zoom in for their dinner
In the fading evening light.

Nature is a lavish hostess
But I really do wish
That some of her guests could feature
In the main course dish.


June 1990

20th CENTURY MAN

                                                                       XLVII

How will history judge us?
Will our epitaph be:
The people who were responsible for
Polluting the wide open sea?

Will we be remembered for
Our fast and reliable cars,
Or for poisoning city centres
And spreading motorway scars?

Will future generations say we used
Their share of fossil fuel
And decimated several species
With our weapons - efficient and cruel?

Will they appreciate our development
Of non-reactive gases
That damage the ozone layer
Bringing cancer to suntanned masses?

Will they admire our grain production
Or will they all say
That nitrate poisoned water
Is too high a price to pay?

Will our children thank us
For nuclear energy
Or compain that we have ruined
Their land and sky and sea?

Will they laud us as the conquerors
Of many a crippling disease
Or remember us for destroying
Untold millions of trees?

Will our descendents revere our inventions  -
Our achievements - our space plan  -
Or call us "Homo destructus"
Twentieth century man.

17.10.1991
Written for the World Wildlife Poetry Competition

BY APPOINTMENT TO

                                                                    XLVI


Have you ever wondered where
James Bond found his mechanic?
His cars always spring to life
With never a non-start panic.

His car is well defended
With rockets, bullets, knives
For men like 007 lead
Exciting, dangerous lives.

The car can turn amphibian
With no sign of leaks.
In spite of salty water
You hear no rusty squeaks.

He's confident and laid back
And his faith in his car is complete.
I'm sure his garage never says:
"Can't fit you in this week"

Eventually Bond must slip up
And land in a muddy ditch,
As he concentrates on seduction,
He'll forget and press the wrong switch.


April 1988

GREENS

                                                             XLV 

How many shades of green are there
In the English countryside?
The colour has but one name
Though the range of shades is wide. 

There's the yellowish green of the primrose leaf
In it's neat and furry whorl,
And the pinkish green of poplar leaves
As they start to unfurl.

The lamb's ear, softly velvet
Has a greenish-silvery sheen
And the jagged leaves of the feverfew
Are an acid, limey green.

The holly, which is blackish green,
In Spring has bronze green tips,
And wild rose fruits are a brownish green
As they ripen into hips.

Conifers come in many hues
Of gold and blue-grey-green;
And hostas all display their leaves
In shades of greenish cream.

The new seeds of the honesty
Are a greeny purple shade
And certain types of lichen
Glow in orange jade.

When September's dews chill the air
And Summer is almost dead,
The green of our land is tinged with
A touch of rusty red.

So - how many shades of green are there?
The only aswer can be:
As many tones of blue as you find
In the sky - the rivers - the sea.


Winkworth Arboretum
May 1988