THE DIGITAL AGE

 

  

 

This generation is justly proud

Of its skills of communication

Texts and phone calls circle the world

From nation to nation.

 

With Twitter and Facebook,

A comment can go viral in hours

One realises social media sites

Have very wide ranging powers.

 

Photos are taken by the thousand

And stored on a mobile phone.

Unlike Egyptian hieroglyphs 

They are not carved in stone.

 

Built-in obsolescence

Is part of life today –

By the time you understand your model

The next one is on the way.

 

Roman wood strips – Chinese bamboo –

Indus valley tablets of baked clay –

Iraqi cuneiform,   vellum – parchment

Even papyrus doesn’t always decay.

 

 

Our data is “cloud based” and ephemeral ,

They cast theirs in metal, clay or stone

And will probably still be there

When we have lost our own.

 

 

 

January 2014

 

 

 

THE COBRA EFFECT

 

THE COBRA EFFECT

 

In the days of the Raj someone had

A wonderfully simple idea

To reduce the number of deaths

From snake-bite every year.

 

They decided to pay a bounty

On each dead snake brought to them

But grossly underestimated

The native business acumen.

 

Cobra farms soon sprang up

All over the place,

A nice little earner for

The local populace.

 

When the penny finally dropped –

Or should it be the anna

There was surprise at the villagers’

Entrepreneural manner.

 

The bounty was withdrawn -

The cobras were set free,

So there were even more snakes

Than there used to be.

 

When good intentions do not have

The result one would expect,

And only serve to make things worse,

It’s called “The Cobra Effect”

 

January 2014

 

p.s. When authorities try to save money –

and introduce another layer of management to do so,

it ends up costing even  more – wonderful example of

The Cobra Effect.

 

The dreaded sell-by date (128)

 

                                    THE DREADED SELL-BY DATE

 

People nowadays seem

Completely paranoid

About hygiene and cleanliness

And struggle to avoid …

 

Germs in any shape or size

But what does aggravate

Is the slavish following

Of the sell-by date.

 

Our parents didn’t “google”

Or go on line, they just relied

On their senses and experience

For food that could be tried.

 

Now people check all food

For the sell by date

And if it’s only out by a day

The dustbin is its fate.

 

A supermarket can throw away

Tons of edible food a year.

No one can touch it –

It’s for landfill I fear.

 

If so many resources were not wasted,

Perhaps we would not need

Expensive and inefficient windmills

And light bulbs by which we cannot read.

 

 

September 2011

THE CLASS OF 1956

 
When I told a young acquaintance

That a school friend was coming to stay

She looked at me – and my wrinkles -

In a very puzzled way.

 

You mean you still know people

Who went to school with you?

“Yes, indeed” said I

And not just one or two.”

 

Our whole class has kept in touch

Thanks to modern communications

Even though we are now spread

Over many different nations.

 

We stayed together – never moved schools

From our first year to our last,

With friendships that transcend

Race, religion and caste.

 

How many classes have kept in touch

For sixty years# after leaving school -

Without Twitter or Facebook -

Are we the exception to the rule?

 

 

August 2013

 

#  I know it is really 57 years, but that wouldn’t scan –

 and I am sure this verse will still be relevant in 2016

 

To the Class of 1956 –

Cathedral and John Connon School.

Bombay.

DO WE WANT TO LIVE TO 100?(B.126)

 

We should all stop smoking

So the experts say,

It will shorten life – and

Wreck your health in every way.

 

Alcohol isn’t too bad

If taken in small amounts –

A glass or two of wine a week

It’s the quantity that counts.

 

Obesity is deadly it will

Ruin and shorten your life -

And try and stay relaxed

Free from stress and strife.

 

Eat plenty of fruit and veg. –

At least 5 portions a day

Plus 2 litres of water

And you should be well away.

 

Cut down on animal fats

Or your cholesterol will be high

And you will be on statins

Until the day you die.

 

Exercise is vital

For muscles, lungs and heart

To live a long and healthy life

It is an important part.

 

You follow instructions

Do everything the experts say

And you end up ancient

With one or the other big A.#

 

What is the point - you’re immobile,

Helpless and in pain.

Is it too late to take up

Booze and fags again?

 

# Alzheimer’s or Arthritis

13.6.2013

 

comments

I have just been shown how to read comments on blogs - I am obviously not a computer natural.  Many thanks (particularly to Michael Jones) for taking the time to write.

I am not on any social network, but if a reply was required, you could add an email address, if you wished.

Modern Digital cameras - 125

 

                                      MODERN CAMERAS

 

My young life was recorded

At every single stage

By the Box Brownie camera

The wonder of its age.

 

The prints were only black and white

And about two inches square

They were small but they were clear -

The details were all there.

 

It was easy to make prints

And spread them all around

So that if your set was lost

Others could be found.

 

Our children’s lives were recorded

On coloured film and slide,

Carefree, sunny, happy days

Of youthful joy and pride.

 

With modern digital cameras

People take photos by the score

But if they’re not backed up or printed

How long will they endure?

 

Technology in unstoppable

Equipment is soon out of date

Superseded by a new model –

The council tip is its fate.

 

How many irreplaceable photos

Have we all lost?

Modern technology is wonderful

But it can come at a high cost.

 

July 2013

 

 

 

                                        

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THE MORTAL COIL - 124

 

      THE MORTAL COIL ….

When you are really old

Well past your allotted span

You wonder if Someone

Has a devious plan ….

 

To make you keep on living

(Existing is the word)

Questions go unanswered -

Appeals are unheard.

 

We’re told not to smoke and drink

Or let ourselves get fat,

Then we live for ever –

And how boring is that?

 

We should all be able to

Book our departure dates

Instead of waiting on standby

Before the pearly gates.

 

I do not think my end in nigh

But you never know,

And I may not feel the same

When it’s my turn to go.

 

 

My long and happy life

I would not wish to spoil

But will I ever want to shuffle

Off this mortal coil?

 

1.8.12

(written while picking blackberries!)

                                          FRIENDSHIPS             

 

There are many gifts with which

Humans have been blessed –

The ability to form friendships

Has to be one of the best

 

Every friendship is different

Every friendship is unique

In the way we feel about each other,

Interact – confide and speak.

 

Banter is a part of friendship

Often with the opposite sex.

Some things can be said in fun

That might otherwise vex.

 

Friendship is a continuum

And the distance can be great

From acquaintances via friends

To Kindred Spirits and Soul Mate.

 

Positions on this gradient

Are not cast in stone

Some friendships might have shrunk -

Others could have grown.

 

Once you’ve become Kindred Spirits

The friendship will always remain

Even if your ways should part

And you never meet again.

 

Why worry about the future

Let us enjoy, while we can

One of the greatest blessings

Given by God to man.

 

June 2010

 

 

SOME THINGS IN LIFE ARE STILL FREE (123)

Many of life’s luxuries

Do not cost a thing

Like enjoying a rosy sunset

Or listening to a robin sing.

 

Sliding down in a still warm bed

After a morning cup of tea –

The wine-fresh air of early Spring –

All completely free.

 

A freshly picked ripe strawberry

Warm from the sun’s morning kiss –

Aching limbs soaking in a hot bath –

Now that is absolute bliss.

 

Lying in the shade of a blossoming tree

Admiring puffy white clouds

Sitting outside on a clear moonless night

Studying stellar crowds.

 

And though we are living in

A materialistic society

Many of life’s pleasures

Are still completely free.

 

March 2013

 

To Peter

The 26-hour day (121)

 

THE 26 HOUR DAY                                     

 

I read a science article that said

The earth/moon distance was increasing

While the earth’s rate of spin

Was correspondingly decreasing.

 

Now the more our spin rate slows

The longer the day will be.

I think a day of 26 hours

Would be just right for me

 

I could have a daily lie-in

Spend extra time in bed,

Catch up on all my chores -

Have an early night instead.

 

My imagination took off

Thinking of all that I could do

If the hours of the day

Were increased by two.

 

Then I came down to earth

And realized with dismay

That millions of years are needed

To add minutes to each day.

 

Perhaps after all it would be

Better by far

To leave the hours in a day

Exactly as they are.

 

HOARDERS AND COLLECTORS (B.120)

 

 

Hoarders and collectors

Come in many guises

And the items they collect

Are in varied shapes and sizes…

 

From gems, jewellery and miniatures

Through vases and objet d’art

To space demanding transports

Cycle – tractor – cart.

 

All the things I hoard

Are completely value free

Though they might come in useful

In an emergency.

 

Fabrics and plant pots

Elastic – hangers – string

Buttons – zips and safety pins

That sort of useful thing.

 

Worst of all are plastic bags

In every size and shape

Large bags full of smaller ones

Transparent and opaque.

 

But if I threw something away

I know for sure, for sure

I would need it urgently

And have to buy some more.

 

Every serious hoarder

Is convinced they’ll find a use

For all the stuff they’ve saved

And they cling to that excuse.

 

THANK GOODNESS FOR THE INDUSTRIAL REVOLUTION

 

Modern life is artificial and unnatural

So we’re told that we should

Reconnect with our ancient crafts

It will calm - and do us good.

 

Of all our ancestors’ skills

The best one seemed to be

Spinning wool and knitting a jumper

Designed by – and for – me.

 

I couldn’t wait to achieve inner calm

Where mind and body are at peace

So I dashed out to an alpaca farm

And bought myself a fleece!

 

Spinning equipment was needed too -

Getting back to basics is not cheap,

I expected it to be soothing and satisfying

And to help me to fall asleep

 

But carding,  spinning and plying

As explained in all the craft books

Was difficult - infuriating - stressful -

And not as easy as it looks.

 

I admire our ancestors who did this

For every garment that they wore –

Thank goodness for modern artificial life

And clothes that can be bought in a store.

 

 

January 2013

 

RONDEAUS - 118

I wrote several rondeaus as a writing exercise.
They are not autobiographical - just imagination.


WHEN YOU'RE GRIEVING ...
When you're grieving, what can friends say
After asking if you're o.k.?
Of course they sympathise with you,
But it's less painful for them to
Cross the road, look the other way ...

Some folk with false heartiness say
"Just wait 'till Spring is on the way
For they don't want to distress you
When you're grieving.

So though you may feel sad and grey
You must smile and make yourself say
"I'm fine - it's nice to see you to"
They then will ask what they can do
And with relief go on their way...
When you're grieving.



WHEN YOU ARE OLD
When you are old and Life is slow
You dream of days, so long ago
When you were young and full of fire
Could walk for miles and never tire,
With strengths that only young men know.

But Life is still sweet, even though
The signs of age begin to show,
You can but dream of sweet desires
When you are old.

But why, Lord, must we undergo
Indignities because we're slow,
And youngsters in bright tones inquire:
"So how are we?" - Life can be dire
When you are old.

October 1994

THE MODERN MOTHER GOOSE

THE MODERN MOTHER GOOSE – MS.GOOSE (SINGLE PARENT)

 

Mary, Mary, quite contrary

How do your verges grow?

With old tin cans

And rusting vans

And fag packets all in as row.

 

 

Little Jack Horner

Sat in a corner

Eating his soya-meat pie.

He found ‘tween his teeth

A piece of real meat

And said “What a lucky boy am I”

 

 

Curly-locks, Curly-locks wilt thou be mine?

Thou shall not dishes,

Nor yet feed the swine.

But sit on a cushion

And sew a fine seam

And feed upon strawberries, sugar and cream.

 

Thank you kind sir - I can never be thine,

I have a dish-washer and I love little swine.

I don’t like fine sewing – it bores me to tears,

I’m allergic to strawberries, haven’t eaten one for years.

 

Sugar is fattening, cream cloying and thick

So high in cholesterol it makes me feel sick;

Sitting still is bad, it makes your blood clot

I’m honoured by your offer Sir – but accept it I cannot.

 

March 1982

 

 

THE EXTENSION OF ENGLISH

 

 

                              THE EXTENSION OF ENGLISH

 

We say “ab-so-lut-ely”

When what we mean is “yes”

Four syllables have more emphasis

Than a single one – I guess?

 

And instead of “Now” we say

“At this moment in time”

Padding out a sentence

Is not a grammatical crime.

 

“I myself am of the opinion …”

What’s wrong with “I think”?

Its meaning is the same –

It’s short – and it’s succinct.

 

“There you go”-  “I mean to say”-

“You know what I mean” -

All these pointless phrases

Dot the vocal scene.

 

English can be a concise language

But in recent years there’s been a trend

To use six words where one would do

And every sentence extend.

 

Are these meaningless words used

Because we are so vexed

By the savage abbreviations

Of  the world of the text?

 

May 2007

CHRISTMAS AND THE SIEGE SYNDROME (115)

Christmas seems to bring out
The siege syndrome in us,
We shop and shop - and shop again
With aggro, stress and fuss.

Every shopping trolley,
Overflowing with food
Is steered by frantic housewives
And seems to include:

Enough food for an army
Or a third world family for a year;
At Christmas we make sure we have
Excessive festive cheer.

Dozens of loaves, tons of fruit,
Biscuits, sweets and cake,
Crates of coke and lemonade
Our Christmas thirst to slake.

Rivers of wine and spirits
Oceans of lager and beer,
Over the Christmas season
Running short is our fear.

We ate and drank - and drank and ate
All through Christmas day.
When I awoke next morning,
I found to my dismay ...

I had indigestion and a hangover,
In my head was an iron smelter.
There's still plenty of food and drink
But where is the Alka-Seltzer?

December 1990

The honest MP - 114

 

THE INCORRUPTIBLE  MP

 

We MPs are vital

Our country to uphold

Honest and incorruptible

For the whole world to behold.

                                                We are honourable members

 

I devote my entire life to

My country and constituencies

Surely I’m entitled to

Some small degree of ease.

                                                Within the law of course.

 

I had my house refurbished

Without financial pain,

Then I was able to flip homes

And do it all again.                  Everyone does it – can’t be wrong.

 

I rented out my luxury pad –

(The profits belong to me)

Now I need a place to live

So I rented another flat – free.

                                                It was legal – I did nothing wrong.

 

There is no reason to know

Any  Landlord’s name

My security could be at risk

And that would be a shame.

                                                My landlord is a friend – that’s o.k.

 

So though I have done nothing wrong,

Some people might not agree,

I’m grateful to the speaker

In his struggle for secrecy.

 

November 2012

The Big Issue Seller (113)

 

                                

 

                              The Big Issue Seller

 

It’s very satisfying

To lie tucked up in bed

While rain buffets the window

Inches from my head.

 

The seller of the Big Issue

I spoke to the other day

Was looking forward to winter shelters

So that he could stay …

 

Out of the cold and rain and wind

(Like most of us)

Instead of spending night after night

On a seat in an all-night bus.

 

Without dependents or addictions

It’s hard to get on a housing list.

It must be tempting to go and get

Completely stoned  and  … drunk.

 

 

October 2012