TATE MODERN

                                                                          LXXI

The Tate Modern is useful
If you've half an hour to kill.
All aspects of modern art are there
And Life - both moving and still.

Without lables you wouldn't know
What an exhibit was supposed to be
And I often find it hard to guess
What I am meant to see.

Little squares of colour -
Little swirls of paint
Might be bright and cheerful - but
A masterpiece it ain't.

What can we admire in
A wall that's painted grey?
Does it tell us something -
If so what does it say?

Black oblongs splashed against
A background of darkest red,
The artist is fussy about it's position
The Art lecturer said.

In this artistic country of ours
The best modern art could contribute
Was three-minute time-lapse film of
A bowl of decaying fruit.


This is from  a prejudiced viewpoint but - a painting had been hung upside down for quite a while
before the error was realised - and no one noticed!
May 2005
To H. and R.

MODERN REVEALING FASHIONS

                                                                      LXXI

On a recent visit to London
I was amazed at the way women dressed,
Exposing vast acreages
Of bosom and breast.

Granted it was very hot
But it is wrong to think that you'll
Be better in a tight and clinging top -
It will not keep you cool.

The colour range of cleavage
Was an interesting sight:
Ebony black - shades of brown -
Honey gold and white.

Then there is the condition
Known as "bosom bounce"
Young women don't walk smoothly -
They wobble and they flounce.

Men are understandably distracted -
I have seen a collision or two.
With so much visible pulchritude
What can a normal man do?

I have my own theory
On why necklines are so low:
If you'd paid a fortune for a boob job
Wouldn't you want it on show?


July 2010

FAT FREE DIETS

                                                                  LXX  

Some folk are so diet conscious,
So "healthy food" aware;
Low fat this - fat free that,
Full cream?  Don't you dare.

But there are some people
And I know a few -
Who disregard what the experts
Say that they should do.

They drink creamy full fat milk,
Not for them watery semi-skimmed.
And  they cook their pork chops
Before the fat has been trimmed.

Double cream and yoghurt,
Cheese that is full fat -
But, - they're slim with low cholesterol,
Now how unfair is that?

To Joy
October 2010