100
Some people cannot live without
Their personal mobile phone
A chattering companion
So that they're never alone.
They carry their phones everywhere
In case someone should call,
Or stand there - like Thisby -
Talking to a wall.
Even the rising cost of calls
Does not seem to deter
A compulsive conversationalist
Or true entrepreneur.
They ring in buses, trains and tubes
And I've heard their warbling call
Above the sound of an orchestra
In the Royal Albert Hall.
For many modern drivers
It is now de rigeur
To phone while they are driving -
Goodness knows how they change gear.
But the worst telephone-driver
Was a man I saw the other day
Exceeding the legal speed limit
In the usual M25 way.
His left hand held a telephone
His right lay on the steering wheel
From which he regularly lifted it
To emphasize or appeal -
Pointing and gesticulating
To his listener - unseen -
While driving somewhat erratically
On the highway of the Queen.
I've never had a car phone,
They're useful, I'm sure
And if I saw any dangerous driving
I could always telephone the law.
July 1997
