THE CLASS OF 1956

 
When I told a young acquaintance

That a school friend was coming to stay

She looked at me – and my wrinkles -

In a very puzzled way.

 

You mean you still know people

Who went to school with you?

“Yes, indeed” said I

And not just one or two.”

 

Our whole class has kept in touch

Thanks to modern communications

Even though we are now spread

Over many different nations.

 

We stayed together – never moved schools

From our first year to our last,

With friendships that transcend

Race, religion and caste.

 

How many classes have kept in touch

For sixty years# after leaving school -

Without Twitter or Facebook -

Are we the exception to the rule?

 

 

August 2013

 

#  I know it is really 57 years, but that wouldn’t scan –

 and I am sure this verse will still be relevant in 2016

 

To the Class of 1956 –

Cathedral and John Connon School.

Bombay.

DO WE WANT TO LIVE TO 100?(B.126)

 

We should all stop smoking

So the experts say,

It will shorten life – and

Wreck your health in every way.

 

Alcohol isn’t too bad

If taken in small amounts –

A glass or two of wine a week

It’s the quantity that counts.

 

Obesity is deadly it will

Ruin and shorten your life -

And try and stay relaxed

Free from stress and strife.

 

Eat plenty of fruit and veg. –

At least 5 portions a day

Plus 2 litres of water

And you should be well away.

 

Cut down on animal fats

Or your cholesterol will be high

And you will be on statins

Until the day you die.

 

Exercise is vital

For muscles, lungs and heart

To live a long and healthy life

It is an important part.

 

You follow instructions

Do everything the experts say

And you end up ancient

With one or the other big A.#

 

What is the point - you’re immobile,

Helpless and in pain.

Is it too late to take up

Booze and fags again?

 

# Alzheimer’s or Arthritis

13.6.2013

 

comments

I have just been shown how to read comments on blogs - I am obviously not a computer natural.  Many thanks (particularly to Michael Jones) for taking the time to write.

I am not on any social network, but if a reply was required, you could add an email address, if you wished.

Modern Digital cameras - 125

 

                                      MODERN CAMERAS

 

My young life was recorded

At every single stage

By the Box Brownie camera

The wonder of its age.

 

The prints were only black and white

And about two inches square

They were small but they were clear -

The details were all there.

 

It was easy to make prints

And spread them all around

So that if your set was lost

Others could be found.

 

Our children’s lives were recorded

On coloured film and slide,

Carefree, sunny, happy days

Of youthful joy and pride.

 

With modern digital cameras

People take photos by the score

But if they’re not backed up or printed

How long will they endure?

 

Technology in unstoppable

Equipment is soon out of date

Superseded by a new model –

The council tip is its fate.

 

How many irreplaceable photos

Have we all lost?

Modern technology is wonderful

But it can come at a high cost.

 

July 2013

 

 

 

                                        

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THE MORTAL COIL - 124

 

      THE MORTAL COIL ….

When you are really old

Well past your allotted span

You wonder if Someone

Has a devious plan ….

 

To make you keep on living

(Existing is the word)

Questions go unanswered -

Appeals are unheard.

 

We’re told not to smoke and drink

Or let ourselves get fat,

Then we live for ever –

And how boring is that?

 

We should all be able to

Book our departure dates

Instead of waiting on standby

Before the pearly gates.

 

I do not think my end in nigh

But you never know,

And I may not feel the same

When it’s my turn to go.

 

 

My long and happy life

I would not wish to spoil

But will I ever want to shuffle

Off this mortal coil?

 

1.8.12

(written while picking blackberries!)

                                          FRIENDSHIPS             

 

There are many gifts with which

Humans have been blessed –

The ability to form friendships

Has to be one of the best

 

Every friendship is different

Every friendship is unique

In the way we feel about each other,

Interact – confide and speak.

 

Banter is a part of friendship

Often with the opposite sex.

Some things can be said in fun

That might otherwise vex.

 

Friendship is a continuum

And the distance can be great

From acquaintances via friends

To Kindred Spirits and Soul Mate.

 

Positions on this gradient

Are not cast in stone

Some friendships might have shrunk -

Others could have grown.

 

Once you’ve become Kindred Spirits

The friendship will always remain

Even if your ways should part

And you never meet again.

 

Why worry about the future

Let us enjoy, while we can

One of the greatest blessings

Given by God to man.

 

June 2010

 

 

SOME THINGS IN LIFE ARE STILL FREE (123)

Many of life’s luxuries

Do not cost a thing

Like enjoying a rosy sunset

Or listening to a robin sing.

 

Sliding down in a still warm bed

After a morning cup of tea –

The wine-fresh air of early Spring –

All completely free.

 

A freshly picked ripe strawberry

Warm from the sun’s morning kiss –

Aching limbs soaking in a hot bath –

Now that is absolute bliss.

 

Lying in the shade of a blossoming tree

Admiring puffy white clouds

Sitting outside on a clear moonless night

Studying stellar crowds.

 

And though we are living in

A materialistic society

Many of life’s pleasures

Are still completely free.

 

March 2013

 

To Peter

The 26-hour day (121)

 

THE 26 HOUR DAY                                     

 

I read a science article that said

The earth/moon distance was increasing

While the earth’s rate of spin

Was correspondingly decreasing.

 

Now the more our spin rate slows

The longer the day will be.

I think a day of 26 hours

Would be just right for me

 

I could have a daily lie-in

Spend extra time in bed,

Catch up on all my chores -

Have an early night instead.

 

My imagination took off

Thinking of all that I could do

If the hours of the day

Were increased by two.

 

Then I came down to earth

And realized with dismay

That millions of years are needed

To add minutes to each day.

 

Perhaps after all it would be

Better by far

To leave the hours in a day

Exactly as they are.

 

HOARDERS AND COLLECTORS (B.120)

 

 

Hoarders and collectors

Come in many guises

And the items they collect

Are in varied shapes and sizes…

 

From gems, jewellery and miniatures

Through vases and objet d’art

To space demanding transports

Cycle – tractor – cart.

 

All the things I hoard

Are completely value free

Though they might come in useful

In an emergency.

 

Fabrics and plant pots

Elastic – hangers – string

Buttons – zips and safety pins

That sort of useful thing.

 

Worst of all are plastic bags

In every size and shape

Large bags full of smaller ones

Transparent and opaque.

 

But if I threw something away

I know for sure, for sure

I would need it urgently

And have to buy some more.

 

Every serious hoarder

Is convinced they’ll find a use

For all the stuff they’ve saved

And they cling to that excuse.

 

THANK GOODNESS FOR THE INDUSTRIAL REVOLUTION

 

Modern life is artificial and unnatural

So we’re told that we should

Reconnect with our ancient crafts

It will calm - and do us good.

 

Of all our ancestors’ skills

The best one seemed to be

Spinning wool and knitting a jumper

Designed by – and for – me.

 

I couldn’t wait to achieve inner calm

Where mind and body are at peace

So I dashed out to an alpaca farm

And bought myself a fleece!

 

Spinning equipment was needed too -

Getting back to basics is not cheap,

I expected it to be soothing and satisfying

And to help me to fall asleep

 

But carding,  spinning and plying

As explained in all the craft books

Was difficult - infuriating - stressful -

And not as easy as it looks.

 

I admire our ancestors who did this

For every garment that they wore –

Thank goodness for modern artificial life

And clothes that can be bought in a store.

 

 

January 2013

 

RONDEAUS - 118

I wrote several rondeaus as a writing exercise.
They are not autobiographical - just imagination.


WHEN YOU'RE GRIEVING ...
When you're grieving, what can friends say
After asking if you're o.k.?
Of course they sympathise with you,
But it's less painful for them to
Cross the road, look the other way ...

Some folk with false heartiness say
"Just wait 'till Spring is on the way
For they don't want to distress you
When you're grieving.

So though you may feel sad and grey
You must smile and make yourself say
"I'm fine - it's nice to see you to"
They then will ask what they can do
And with relief go on their way...
When you're grieving.



WHEN YOU ARE OLD
When you are old and Life is slow
You dream of days, so long ago
When you were young and full of fire
Could walk for miles and never tire,
With strengths that only young men know.

But Life is still sweet, even though
The signs of age begin to show,
You can but dream of sweet desires
When you are old.

But why, Lord, must we undergo
Indignities because we're slow,
And youngsters in bright tones inquire:
"So how are we?" - Life can be dire
When you are old.

October 1994

THE MODERN MOTHER GOOSE

THE MODERN MOTHER GOOSE – MS.GOOSE (SINGLE PARENT)

 

Mary, Mary, quite contrary

How do your verges grow?

With old tin cans

And rusting vans

And fag packets all in as row.

 

 

Little Jack Horner

Sat in a corner

Eating his soya-meat pie.

He found ‘tween his teeth

A piece of real meat

And said “What a lucky boy am I”

 

 

Curly-locks, Curly-locks wilt thou be mine?

Thou shall not dishes,

Nor yet feed the swine.

But sit on a cushion

And sew a fine seam

And feed upon strawberries, sugar and cream.

 

Thank you kind sir - I can never be thine,

I have a dish-washer and I love little swine.

I don’t like fine sewing – it bores me to tears,

I’m allergic to strawberries, haven’t eaten one for years.

 

Sugar is fattening, cream cloying and thick

So high in cholesterol it makes me feel sick;

Sitting still is bad, it makes your blood clot

I’m honoured by your offer Sir – but accept it I cannot.

 

March 1982

 

 

THE EXTENSION OF ENGLISH

 

 

                              THE EXTENSION OF ENGLISH

 

We say “ab-so-lut-ely”

When what we mean is “yes”

Four syllables have more emphasis

Than a single one – I guess?

 

And instead of “Now” we say

“At this moment in time”

Padding out a sentence

Is not a grammatical crime.

 

“I myself am of the opinion …”

What’s wrong with “I think”?

Its meaning is the same –

It’s short – and it’s succinct.

 

“There you go”-  “I mean to say”-

“You know what I mean” -

All these pointless phrases

Dot the vocal scene.

 

English can be a concise language

But in recent years there’s been a trend

To use six words where one would do

And every sentence extend.

 

Are these meaningless words used

Because we are so vexed

By the savage abbreviations

Of  the world of the text?

 

May 2007

CHRISTMAS AND THE SIEGE SYNDROME (115)

Christmas seems to bring out
The siege syndrome in us,
We shop and shop - and shop again
With aggro, stress and fuss.

Every shopping trolley,
Overflowing with food
Is steered by frantic housewives
And seems to include:

Enough food for an army
Or a third world family for a year;
At Christmas we make sure we have
Excessive festive cheer.

Dozens of loaves, tons of fruit,
Biscuits, sweets and cake,
Crates of coke and lemonade
Our Christmas thirst to slake.

Rivers of wine and spirits
Oceans of lager and beer,
Over the Christmas season
Running short is our fear.

We ate and drank - and drank and ate
All through Christmas day.
When I awoke next morning,
I found to my dismay ...

I had indigestion and a hangover,
In my head was an iron smelter.
There's still plenty of food and drink
But where is the Alka-Seltzer?

December 1990

The honest MP - 114

 

THE INCORRUPTIBLE  MP

 

We MPs are vital

Our country to uphold

Honest and incorruptible

For the whole world to behold.

                                                We are honourable members

 

I devote my entire life to

My country and constituencies

Surely I’m entitled to

Some small degree of ease.

                                                Within the law of course.

 

I had my house refurbished

Without financial pain,

Then I was able to flip homes

And do it all again.                  Everyone does it – can’t be wrong.

 

I rented out my luxury pad –

(The profits belong to me)

Now I need a place to live

So I rented another flat – free.

                                                It was legal – I did nothing wrong.

 

There is no reason to know

Any  Landlord’s name

My security could be at risk

And that would be a shame.

                                                My landlord is a friend – that’s o.k.

 

So though I have done nothing wrong,

Some people might not agree,

I’m grateful to the speaker

In his struggle for secrecy.

 

November 2012

The Big Issue Seller (113)

 

                                

 

                              The Big Issue Seller

 

It’s very satisfying

To lie tucked up in bed

While rain buffets the window

Inches from my head.

 

The seller of the Big Issue

I spoke to the other day

Was looking forward to winter shelters

So that he could stay …

 

Out of the cold and rain and wind

(Like most of us)

Instead of spending night after night

On a seat in an all-night bus.

 

Without dependents or addictions

It’s hard to get on a housing list.

It must be tempting to go and get

Completely stoned  and  … drunk.

 

 

October 2012

                                 

I LOVE MY LINES AND WRINKLES

 

 I love my lines and wrinkles,

They took decades to acquire.

They show wisdom and maturity -

To which we all aspire.

 

I regard them as trophies

Of good times and bad

When life was full of happiness  -

And when life was sad.

 

So why should anybody pay

An exorbitant amount

To try and airbrush out the past

As if it didn’t count?

 

Nip-and-tuck – face lift ..

These simple words can cover

Side effects from which it can

Take ages to recover.

 

And when folk keep staring,

They’re not admiring you

But wondering why you don’t look

As you used to do.

 

A tight expressionless face

When you’re 70-plus is bizarre,

So let us leave our lines and wrinkles

Just the way they are.

 

 

 

9.11.12

To J. – with love

 

 

BECAUSE I'M WORTH IT

BECAUSE  I’M WORTH  IT …  

Last week at the Dentist’s Surgery

I picked up a glossy beauty mag.

It told me what I should do

When I started to sag.

 

Don’t bother with diets and gyms, it said

Go straight for the surgeon’s knife

Your youthful looks will help you cope

With modern competitive life.

 

A simple face lift is so common

Everyone has one in this day.

It removes all lines and wrinkles –

The years just fall away.

 

Farewell drooping bosom;

Implants will enlarge and lift your bust,

Liposuction reduces spare tyres –

Well that’s an absolute must.

 

A botox jab may be toxic, but

Signs of age vanish without pain,

However, if the dose is wrong

You may never smile or frown again.

 

The whole works cost an arm and a leg

More than a luxury cruise,

But you know you are worth it,

So treat yourself, you can’t lose.

 

I’m solvent!  I’ve paid my debts

I’m beginning to forget all the pain,

So now I’m told to start saving

To do it again – and again.       September 2002

PEARS GALORE

We have an un-named pear tree,
We love its blossom and shade,
And fruit comes as a bonus
Once in each decade.
                                              This year we had a bumper crop.

The pears have a delicate flavour
i.e. no taste at all,
But my thrifty nature means
I must use them when they fall.
                                                 And we have a bumper crop.

Our pears supply a meal to
Many a type of grub,
There're the base of the food chain
A culinary hub,                         
                                                  And we have a bumper crop.

What can you do with
Hundreds of tasteless pears?
Even the starlings did not
Take their usual shares
                                                   Of our bumper crop.

The fridge and freezer are full of
Purees - chutney - pud.
I hope we never again have
A harvest so bountifully good
                                                   As this bumper crop of pears.

August 2012

OLD AGE IS NOT FOR THE FAINT HEARTED

                                                                     109

When I woke up this morning
I thought of all I had to do -
Meals to cook - dishes to wash
Hoovering and dusting too.

The garden needs attention
And I must mow the lawn.
My allotment is full of weeds -
Neglected and forlorn.

As I lay there worrying
About my long work list,
I remembered an appointment
That could not be missed.

I was due to call on a dear friend
And despite our difference in years
With kindred spirit friendships
The age gap completely disappears.

Our discussions used to range
Over every subject 'neath the sun
And we leapt with ease from one topic
To another one.

My friend is now physically frail,
But her mind is sharp as a pin,
So she knows all too well
The state that she is in.

She's aware of the need for a hoist
And sleeping in a bed with rails,
Waiting to be taken to the toilet -
And the problem that entails.

She hears the concealed impatience -
The patronising voice,
Rubbish TV runs constantly
But she has no choice.

So when I think of all the work
That is waiting for me,
I remind myself to be grateful
That I can drive and walk and see.

To B.N.
April 2012

THE SAT NAV

I have a lady sat nav,
Her voice is calm and low,
She navigates so accurately -
Tells me where to go.

As I approach a roundabout
I'm told which road to take -
There's no reproach if I go wrong
And make a silly mistake.
                                                    Re-calculating she says

"Turn left" she then says
But I forget and turn right -
There is no ranting and raving
She remains perfectly polite.
                                                     Re-calculating.

And if I were to take
A wrong route yet again
She'd put me right so patiently
No sign of stress or strain.
                                                     Re-calculating

My sat-nav lady is wonderful
In my hour of need
But I fear that soon I'll be
Unable to map read.

June 2012
                                                                             

APRON STRINGS 107

When your children are infants
The bond is very tight,
They're on your mind each moment
Of every day and night.

You wonder how you'll manage
When they are not there,
When they no longer need - or want
Advice - concern and care.

The apron strings must be undone
And I think it is a good rule
To give the knots their very first nudge
Before your child starts school.

At first progress is very slow
So many knots must be undone
By the time your child is eighteen
You should be down to one.

You must loose the final knot
To prepare them for flight
But they must part the final strands
When they feel the time is right.

The apron strings are parted now,
But I always will maintain
No matter how long the knots have been free
The creases will always remain.

1988
To J and C (with love)

WADIA HOUSE AND WATER

Life in India has its aggravations
And we in Wadia House have ours too
They may not be global disasters, but
Minor trials are major, when they're happening to you.

Our main problem is water
It fills almost every waking thought,
Will we have a good supply today,
Or will everyone go short?

Twice a day the anguished drama
Rises to a stressful peak.
Has municipal water started to flow
Or has the mains pipe sprung a leak?

Then there's our old water pump,
It's temperamental and tired.
Though our mechanic does his best,
His skills leave a lot to be desired.

At last we hear the welcome sound
But too soon it fades away
The silent suspense is electric ...
Will we have another waterless day?

Advice and recriminations
Issue loudly from every door,
But our man is a robust individual
And of insults he has a goodly store.

At last we all hear with relief
The familiar vibration and thump -
Celestial choirs couldn't sound as sweet
As our clanking, rattling, ancient water pump.

Dedicated to my Wadia House friends with whom I shared
the daily drama. 

1994