BECAUSE I'M WORTH IT

BECAUSE  I’M WORTH  IT …  

Last week at the Dentist’s Surgery

I picked up a glossy beauty mag.

It told me what I should do

When I started to sag.

 

Don’t bother with diets and gyms, it said

Go straight for the surgeon’s knife

Your youthful looks will help you cope

With modern competitive life.

 

A simple face lift is so common

Everyone has one in this day.

It removes all lines and wrinkles –

The years just fall away.

 

Farewell drooping bosom;

Implants will enlarge and lift your bust,

Liposuction reduces spare tyres –

Well that’s an absolute must.

 

A botox jab may be toxic, but

Signs of age vanish without pain,

However, if the dose is wrong

You may never smile or frown again.

 

The whole works cost an arm and a leg

More than a luxury cruise,

But you know you are worth it,

So treat yourself, you can’t lose.

 

I’m solvent!  I’ve paid my debts

I’m beginning to forget all the pain,

So now I’m told to start saving

To do it again – and again.       September 2002