THE MOST EXPENSIVE FLESH

                                               LXXXVII (87)

What's the most expensive flesh
The world has ever known?
Pound for pound I think that
It could well be my own.

More expensive than smoked salmon,
Porterhouse steak or caviar?
I'll tell you why I believe
That I'm the winner by far.
...............
I decided that I simply
Had to lose some weight.
The body in the birthday suit
Was in a sorry state.

I joined a special club
To help me watch my weight
And apart from a joining fee
I had to pay on the gate.

I bought diet books and magazines
Exercise tapes and videos
And to provide incentive,
A small size in clothes.

I went to a keep fit centre,
Spent a week at a health farm -
Even though it cost me
A leg - and an arm.

After months of this regime
I found to my dismay
Only an ounce or two of fat
Had been slimmed away.

When the loss and cost are balanced
I think you will agree
That the world's most expensive flesh
Must belong to me!

April 1995