Wednesday, 22 June 2011

WORLD'S WORST WINDOW CLEANER

                                                                    LVIII

They say window glass is not porous
But the experts are wrong once again,
As I prove every single time
I clean a window pane.

I wash and shine the outside
And get it gleaming clean
Then I go back indoors
And repeat the whole routine.

But as I rub and polish
I notice with surprise
That a greasy patch has moved outside
Before my very eyes.

So out I go with my "shammy"
To wipe the window pane,
But the smear has seen me coming
And gone inside again.

I do not give up easily
And pursue that errant smudge
In and out - and out and in
As through the house I trudge.

Then the glass plays its trump card.
Yes, I know it's hard to believe,
It holds the smear within it
'Till I think I've won - and leave

As |I sip a well-earned coffee,
I can't believe my eyes:
A blurry, smudgy mark appears -
It spreads and multiplies.

I will get my own back,
I'll ignore it - look the other way,
Then suddenly pounce and wipe it off -
But some other day.

Now when, in the dim and distant future
Someone with a very high degree
Discovers this phenomenon in window glass
Will anybody ever think of me?

To me.
September 1990

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